So there I was, in a rush to get to a friend whose messages hadn't reached me. They had come through as 3 messages in one go, with various ways of saying 'where the hell are you?' ending in a crescendo of recrimination. I was travelling along the road at a fair pace, i.e. faster than I should, when I rounded a bend and had a brief impression of a pair of pheasant eyes looking at me in surprise then 'BOOM'! I looked in my rear view mirror and there was nothing in the road so I went on - the bad Samaritan. I arrived at my friend's house and as she sat in the passenger seat, her husband slowly walked round to the front of the car, bent down and then held up a pheasant, looking very...dead. It had been wedged in the grille.The poor b****r never had a chance - it still had the same surprised expression on its face! My friend and her husband were in stitches but I was mortified and clapped my hands to my face in shame.
Ten minutes later, we had to brake sharply as an unidentifiable pure white bird wandered across the road in front of us. 'What was it?' my friend asked - but I knew what it was. It was the avian ghost of my little pheasanty friend - come to haunt me.
On reaching the car park of the shopping centre, I was about to pull into the only available parking place but found my way blocked by a peacock. I kid you not. Malevolently staring at me, daring me to go nearer. Word (or tweet) obviously travels fast in bird-circles. 'Get this woman who killed our brother bird - she shall never park easily again!' I backed up and waited for another parking space, glancing nervously overhead for the vulture I knew was on its way. I know when I'm beat.
